In each tear there’s a lesson

Music is an extension of who we are as people. If you want to get a picture of what someone is about, you can browse their music collection. It serves as the soundtrack of their lives and much of their experiences can be tied to a particular song, group or musical event.

For me, music is all about saying what my heart is screaming but I can’t find words to express. I have my own personal soundtrack of music that grounds me, inspires me, refocuses me and get’s me pumped up to the best me I can be. The soundtrack evolves as I evolve but it is always timely and always reflects where I am in life.  Today I have been bumping the heck out of a new joint off Mary J. Blige’s new album.

First, let me tell you that you need to pick up Stronger With Each Tear as soon as you can. Second, let me share with you the song that captured my heart today. The song is Each Tear and the lyrics are so powerful. Sometimes we just need to give ourselves a break! We are so hard on ourselves when we make mistakes or don’t measure up to our impossibly high expectations. At the end of the day, we have to realize that each struggle makes us stronger and each day we live we get closer to fulfilling our purpose.

There’s something that I want to say but I feel I don’t know how
And still I just can’t hold it one more day so I think I’ll let it out.
Understand you’re on my mind more than I may show
Understand you’re in my heart more than you may know
And the last thing that I want is for you to fall apart
Your future will get clearer I want you to remember

In each tear there’s a lesson
Makes you wiser than before
Makes you stronger than you know
Each tear brings you closer to your dreams
And no mistake
No heartbreak
Can take away what you’re meant to be

We can’t change the things that we’ve done, that’s in the past
But fighting won’t get us any where
So if you want here’s my hand
Understand every night there’s one thing I do I bow my head and I pray for you
And the last thing that I want is for you to fall apart
Your future will get clearer I want you to

In each tear there’s a lesson
Makes you wiser than before
Makes you stronger than you know
Each tear brings you closer to your dreams
And no mistake
No heartbreak
Can take away what you’re meant to be

You’re much more than the struggles that you go through
You’re not defined by your pain so let it go
You’re not a victim you’re more like a winner
And you’re not in defeat.
You’re more like a queen

Plans change, things change

We have been away from you a long time and it is mostly because some times life happens and it can be completely overwhelming, unrelenting and unapologetically demanding. You know the saying, “life is what happens when you’re planning.”

It is so easy to focus on making plans for your life that you don’t take advantage of your opportunities t0 truly live. I recently celebrated my 31 birthday. As a woman, I have wrestled with the whole aging thing. Most women seem to go into a panic when 30 approaches – mostly because the plans they have carefully laid out have not come to fruition. Some women are just at odds with the aging process. I believe I find myself somewhere in the middle.

I have always been an ambitious person. I wanted to be the first black woman Supreme Court Justice when I was in middle school. I’ve always wanted to be a national best selling author. Lately, my desire is to leave a legacy of improving the lives of girls and young women around the world. I told you I was ambitious!

The older I get the more I realize that my values have changed. I used to want the societal standard for success that included a fabulous husband, a prestigious position, the beautiful house for entertaining and the luxury vehicle. Now, I want people to know that my passion and heart is improving the lives of little girls and giving them an opportunity to let the world know they existed by helping them tell their stories. I want to see them educated and valued and given the ability to rise above poverty and abuse. My heart aches for them and I want the world to pay attention.

If you would have asked me at 21 where I saw myself in a decade, the answer would have been far from my current reality. I am not married to a fabulous man though it is my heart’s desire. I have a great job but I see work as a way to fund the things important to me as opposed to a ladder to climb. I am not a mother but I am a rockstar auntie! I drive the same car I had in college and tinkerbell and I still have great times together. When I replace her in a few months, it will be with a car that I pay cash for and not the fancier SUV that I initially wanted.

I have changed. Things in my life have changed. The plans I had for my life have changed. The more I make peace with that the more I realize what a truly amazing life I live. I don’t have all the things I saw myself with at 31 but I wake up everyday loving who God made me and the blessings I have in the people I surround myself with daily. I recognize that it’s far more important for people to talk about the difference I make than the clothes I wear or the car I drive or my address.

Those aren’t things you talk about when you’re in college working toward a degree. The goal of higher education is to create more minions for the rat race. I’m happy to say I’ve dropped out of that race and directed my life toward more important goals. I’m glad I realized that it’s okay for plans to change, because things change.